Don't Go Back - Recovery Strategy #2

When I was a teen, I had some pretty fantastic dreams of the future.  I had a very creative mind. Like so many teens my age, I had a serious fascination with space and science fiction. I remember that through all the years of family bible study and forced meeting attendance I somehow was able to convince my religiously fanatic parents to allow me to carve out some daily time for my favorite TV show, Star Trek. Oh how I loved that show. I envisioned myself being part of that future where I could explore the unknown universe where I was sure there would be no Kingdom Halls.

At one point I had drawn elaborate plans for my own Starship Enterprise which I was going to launch from my backyard with a giant rubber band. I had dreams of going places and doing something really cool with my life. Perhaps being an astronaut may have been a bit far fethched but becoming an architect, an engineer or geologist were not.

Instead of being steered towards accomplishing my dreams, I was forced into the full time ministry as one on Jehovah's Witnesses. I recall my fathers words as if they were yesterday. He told me to either enter the full-time ministry or I cant live under his roof.  If I were 18 today in that situation I would have left. At 18 years of age I should have been off to college somplace, choosing an awesome career path, making lifelong friends, joining a fraternity and sleeping with young college girls. 

That would be a future I would never see. The college experience is deserving of EVERY single person in the world. It helps you think and can give you the very foundation to make a successful life. Success takes preparation. It would be years before I would see a college degree with my name on it. Although I am happy to have it, the affiliation and experiences are what I wish for most. I have met people that have had friends since high school and they have remained close until now. Growing up as a witness, I was shielded from making friends with my peers outside of the JW sect. Which means as a forever and happily disfellowshipped person, I am still trying to make connections and build friendships at my age. Really tough.

So, where am I going with this? If you are reading this and you are a disfellowshipped person and you are pretty young with your whole life in front of you, then stop trying to get back into the WATCHTOWER BORG and go to college! Leave the country, study abroad. Shed fear and doubt! Dont be scared of the WORLDLY PEOPLE, they will be some of the BEST people you will EVER meet. Trust me, I have no desire to steer you wrong. Do not waste your life on the shifting sands and wavering beliefs of this religious sect.

But what if you are older with a family and responsibilities? I think the same rules apply. If you have not earned your degree do it now. You will make friends, you  will learn how to think critically and you will build your own 'social construct'. You will have the choice to pick your own friends and make your own decisions and set your own path. I am here to tell you that having fear will hold you back.

I am still on my path to recovery. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. The busier I stay the better I feel. I write these blogs, not just for you but for me. Sharing my thoughts with you firms my stand and strengthens my resolve.

Hold your faith in yourself my friends!