The Liar That Fear Built

By now many of you will recognize this familiar refrain in my writing: I was raised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. You may well be thinking: here we go again with his stories of how life was adversly affected by his religious upbringing. And for a few people out there, growing up in this high control religous cult may have even saved their lives. But for the larger majority, myself included we have grown up to be not strong Christian men and women but instead, pretty little liars.

What did he just say? Yes, some us of are pretty, myself included and we all grew up to be pretty little liars.

The culture of the Watchtower Society is all based in fear. Fear is used to control and motivate others. We are taught to have this fear of God, this fear of not displeasing him, right? I believe that somewhere in the scriptures, we are told by his Son that the greatest commandment we need to observe is to love one another and we would be pleasing God, right? No reason to live in deep fear if we follow this commandment, right?

Wrong! As one of Jehovah's Witnesses, you are taught vehemently from the platform that you are NEVER good enough for God's approval, spirit and blessing. As if God is watching your every move and developing a counter move based on your good or bad actions, seeking vengeance for every wrong thought or deed. You are always on the grind to prove your worth to God, or was it to the elders and the rest of the congregation? Was God measuring me, us by some long invisible stick with an ax on the end of it? 

How many times did you feel you were being measured against others by some of the following?

• How many hours you spent in deep personal study?
• How many hours did you spend in the ministry?
• How much collateral did you dispense this week?
• How many return visits did you conduct this month?
• How many bible studies did you conduct this month?
• How many meetings did you miss?
• How many times did you not think about sex with your ex?
• How many times did you not look at that sister with the big booty?
• How much money did you put in the contribution box?
• How early did you get to the meeting, did you stay late?
• Did you cum early or cum late?
• How many times did you informal witness this month?
• Did you study with your family this week?
• Did you study with your side piece this week?
• Did you pray for or to the Governing Booty this week?

The fulfilling of all these ridiculous requirements and of course broadcasting them to all that would listen was a sure sign that you might be good enough, right?

Perhaps, but how may of you told the truth? I know I rarely ever did. But I wanted to be part of the 'good enough club', so I lied. We all did.

And they gave us privileges. They gave us responsibilities. They gave us ice cream.

Most of us grew up to be pretty little liars.

You see, we still feel that we are 'not good enough'. So we put on airs and create our own false realities about ourselves because we have been told so long that we are not good enough. It's easier to lie, to fake it to get the accolades that we need and want to feel good about ourselves instead of putting in the real work.

Fear to face ourselves as we truly are is the lie that fear builds. We must learn to look in the mirror and see what is there. What you will find is that it needs work and in some cases, alot of work. The further reality is that you are not far off, the work is not impossible, the project not without a completion date. But you and I must be willing to acknowledge that we are not what we think we are. We are not as good as we thought we were. Our lives are not as great as we see them.

I am fortunate. I am not lucky, but intentional. I have mirrors all around me. Some of these mirrors have long hair and wear makeup. Some of these mirrors have bald heads and beards. Yes, these are my friends and they are always helping me see the truth about myself, even though I never see it till I sleep on it, eventually, though I do see it. 

Yep, still pretty, no longer a liar. Still a work in process.

Surround yourself with truth telling mirrors. Listen to the truth coming from them. Acknowledge where the holes are and start today in building an authentic life based on the real truth of you. Not the lie that fear builds.

Fear is NOT your factor.