Daddy Dream Killer

I am here, in my present to discuss my past and my future and how they have been impacted by others, outside my control. For many years, my ability to control my own destiny has been hampered by my seeming inability to release and let go of the harmful indoctrinations and ideologies that others had for the direction of my life.

I intend to blog often and maybe someday turn this into a book. I wont be nasty, deragatory or negative if I can help it. I want to be frank, honest, up-front with a twist of humor while discussing the role that religion has played over the course of my life.

You see, I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness! While the very name may recall to your mind early Saturday mornings where you were awakened or had your cartoon watching time interrupted by a unexpected knock on the door, its much, much more than that.

Its about unfulfilled dreams, stolen childhoods, harsh discipline, repression, intolerance, elitist cliques, favortism and class distinction. There is a tendency to divert into the discussion of scripture in these conversations. However, I want to deal with the human side. I want to discuss the after effects of being heavily involved in a religion that labels every one else a CULT but refuses to acknowledge their own cult like practices.

Now begins my personal story. My mother was baptized as a Jehovah's Witness right before I was born, with the absolute BEST of intentions. She truly believes that someday a paradise earth would come about and her new and precious baby would not experience the cruel world she had come to know.

My mother spent my early teenage years trying to convince my cigarette smoking, beer drinking, abusive and womanizing father to give up his 'worldly ways' for the 'truth' a it is often called. During those days, I was a whimsical kid, engaged in the daily grind of playing with rocks, chemicals, worms, trucks and other boy like things while dreaming of doing something really cool with my life. Yeah I had some pretty serious dreams. I was a good kid - playful and observant of the natural world around me - always mixing some sort of chemical and getting punished for the reaction it gave - yes I was a kid in love with science.

Crash, bang and boom! No, that is NOT the sound of one of my science experiments going bad! It is the sound of my father crashing and destroying my world. What happend? He came into the 'Truth".

Enter Daddy Dream Killer.....DDK, a catchy phrase for a serial killer, perhaps. But for a kid like me with hopes and dreams...it would be years before I could laugh this one off.....